Entries tagged with “attire” from Prom to Altar

Our wedding day was not all about the little details-- it was about the big picture: our commitment to each other, the presence of our family and friends, the emotions of the day. I've said that before, right?

That said, there were of course plenty of details that we put thought into.  Here's a bit about the ones that got photographed and the thought behind them.

My jewelry. The blue pin on the left belonged to my grandmother Helen. I was going to pin it inside my dress, but I chickened out-- I was afraid it would fall out, or get snagged on the dress, or befall some unknown disaster. The amethyst ring belonged to my grandmother Mary. Amethyst was our shared birthstone, and she gave the ring to me on my 16th birthday. I was going to tie it to my bouquet, but I chickened out on that too-- I would be devastated if I somehow lost that ring, so I left it at home.

The bracelet and earrings were made by Etsy seller Handwired- they matched my dress perfectly. (I also had hairpins that matched the earrings and bracelet, which I forgot at home in Massachusetts. Bummer, but no big deal.) My friend Jen wore the earrings on her wedding day a few weeks later. I've put them away in a box with a note listing my name and Jen's, and our wedding dates. Hopefully we'll continue to add names of family and friends to the list of ladies who wore those earrings on their wedding day.
 

I bought these typewriter key cuff links from Etsy seller The Empty Nest for Patrick last Valentine's Day. He bought a set of links for each of his groomsmen. Apparently they enjoyed them:


My bouquet was wrapped in lace taken from my mom's wedding dress.
 
The photos tied to the bouquet are wedding photos of my grandmother and Pat's grandmother. When we started planning, we expected to have our grandmothers with us at our wedding. As most of you know, we each lost a grandmother over the summer. Dear sweet Jen had these pendants made for me, and it was so special to have a symbol of their presence that day.

I bought each bridesmaid a pendant with her initial on it from Etsy seller Funky Time Art. The back of each one had a different word and definition: Love, thoughtful, joyful, sweet, friend. Each pendant came with a chain so that they could wear it later as a necklace if they wanted.  (The flowers were pinker and more green than I thought they'd be-- I was expecting more ivory and very pale pink. Another example of not being able to control every little thing. Even with the pink and green, the flowers were very pretty-- the big open ivory roses were my favorite.)

Truth: I don't dress Patrick. Sometimes we shop for clothes together, he asks my opinion and I ask his, but I don't dress him up like a Ken doll. I don't pick out his clothes or coordinate his outfits. He's a grown man, he has good taste, and he does just fine dressing himself.

I will not be dressing him on our wedding day, either. It makes me gag every time I see a wedding blog post or a wedding magazine article about "Dressing Your Groom". Seriously? Your groom is not an accessory, not another "detail" of the day to coordinate. It is his day, too, and he deserves the respect of picking out his own outfit!

Patrick did a lot of research into proper men's formalwear for our mid-afternoon semi-formal wedding. I was clueless about types of tuxedos, suits, ties, and jackets. Anyone who knows Patrick knows that he likes to do things right, he respects tradition, and when he researches something he leaves no stone unturned.

The style of dress he chose for himself and his groomsmen is classy, classic, and handsome. I didn't go with him and his brother when they went to the menswear store to try things on--I trusted that they could handle it. We both agreed that there would be no hot pink vests or cummerbunds, but beyond that he figured it out.

We both like to get dressed up, and we're both excited about getting more dressed up than we've ever been on the day we make a very important commitment to each other.

It's trendy right now for grooms to wear sneakers, or untucked shirts without ties, or a shirt and tie but no jacket. These looks are fine and work for certain types of weddings, but I think the groom deserves to dress up to mark the occasion. To me, it's a sign of respect for the day, his wife-to-be, and the guests.

Mostly though, I disagree with making the groom just another accessory. Pat's not just an accessory to my life; he's the most important thing in it. And he's not just an add-on to the wedding day like the cake or the flowers; he's the center of it (or one half of the center of it!). At the very least, I can respect his ability to pick out clothes, and his right to join me in getting all dressed up in our wedding day finery.

Of course, if it was up to me, I'd choose something like this for Patrick: