Choosing our wedding date was a process of elimination, really.
- It couldn't be during any month when there was a chance of snow, since we'll have many people flying and driving in, including relatives coming from Western and Northern NY-- areas often snowed in. In upstate New York, ruling out the snowy season eliminates November through April.
- Neither of us do well in super hot weather, so we ruled out July or August
- Rich and Jen had already set their date for mid-October, and we didn't want to get too close to that for fear of cramping honeymoon schedules.
- Early September was ruled out due to a plethora of family Birthdays that fall around Labor Day.
- In addition to the fact that June is crazy busy for me at work, we swore our engagement wouldn't be much longer than a year. A May or June wedding would mean a 21 month engagement-- something we were not at all interested in. Just over a year has been the perfect length of time for us to prepare without second guessing things over and over.
- I love September light.
As our wedding grows closer, people's questions have changed a bit. Rather than 'How's the planning going?' and 'When's the wedding?' the questions have become 'Feeling stressed?' and 'How many days now?' and the charming, "Should I not talk to you for the next 3 weeks?'. Um, thanks, I'm busy but I haven't become a monster (however, if you're going to say silly things like that maybe not talking is ok).
People also seem very concerned over whether I have my something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. I wasn't really worried about this list (I have enough lists as it is), but all these questions have me thinking... do I have my bases covered? I don't want to miss one of these items and have our marriage crumble upon our exit from the church! It also seems to really disappoint the question-asker when I imply that I haven't given this much thought.
Here's the status:
- Old- lots of old things: my engagement ring and wedding band, the piece of my mom's wedding dress that will be wrapped around my bouquet,various other jewelry I plan to wear.
- New- dress, shoes, etc. Easy.
- Borrowed- this one I'm not sure on-- I'm confused about what counts as borrowed (lots of items have been passed along to me, but I think it's expected that I'll keep them until it's time for me to pass them along to another woman in the family). I suppose I should borrow a bobby pin or something to be safe.
- Blue- A blue brooch of my grandmother's will be pinned on my bouquet or in the hem of my dress.
Did you know that this verse actually involves a 5th item? The last line is "and a six pence in your shoe". Honestly, I don't think I'll find a six pence in the next two weeks, and I'm working hard to make sure my shoes are comfortable-- a six pence shoved in there is not part of the plan.
I feel better about all our wedding chores after this weekend. So many checks off so many lists! Is there anything more satisfying?
Things that got done:*We successfully made it to Guilderland before 4:30 on Friday and acquired the application for our marriage license. Among the hardest questions: Is the place we live a city or a town? Having lived here for just a few weeks, we had no idea. Luckily, they accepted our guess. The application was filled out by the clerk of our hometown, and while she entered our information we chatted about her son whom Patrick graduated with. It was very small town, warm and fuzzy (and everyone found our giddiness adorable rather than obnoxious).
*We finally had a chance to ask my cousin Lisa to do a reading during the mass. We really wanted to ask her in person, and we were finally able to schedule a visit (added bonus: fresh oatmeal cookies from the best baker in the family).
*We set up a pre-wedding meeting with our photographers, who continue to be extremely helpful, available, and fantastic to work with.
*We met with the cook and general manager of the restaurant where our rehearsal dinner is going to be and decided on the menu. Oh my is it going to be delicious!
*Mom and I worked on some more pew decorations for the church. The craft therapy was so relaxing.
*Place card and favor plans are in place, materials are (mostly) in place, and the plans are ready to be executed this week.
Things we have not done that we probably won't do (due to time/money/not caring anymore) and that's ok:
*Take dance lessons
*Create custom Mad Libs for each table
*Schedule enough time to go to a third location for photos
*Hire a videographer
*Make or buy a cake stand
*Create a slideshow/photo display
Really? It's all ok. We are executing our most exciting wedding project, the details we care most about are happening, and the name of the game now is maintaining sanity for the next 18 days.
Everyone we saw this weekend expressed their excitement for us, and for sharing our day. While there have been times when elopement has been tempting, I can't imagine missing out on the community celebration that's in store.
The Save the Dates were our first wedding project, and we had a blast designing them together. We decided that since our invitations were going to be on the formal side, we wanted to have fun with the Save the Dates. We came up with the concept together (along with Meg, our friend/Pat's cousin's wife/our invitation designer).
The whole thing is a reference to the beginnings of our relationship in high school, a short 10 years ago, and the things that have happened in that time. 
Here's the story behind all those items:
- The pink stub on the left is the parking stub from Thacher Park (where Patrick proposed), for the day we got engaged last summer.
- The ticket along the bottom is from our trip on the Eurostar from London to Paris. We took the trip in November 2001 when Patrick game to visit me during my semester abroad in London. We ate crepes and went to the top of the Eiffel Tour at night.
- The "photo booth" photos we took in our living room in March-- a black backdrop (fabric found at a thrift store) hung in a doorway, the camera on a tripod, Calvin staring at us like we'd lost our minds.
- The ticket stub on the bottom right is from a Dave Matthews concert at SPAC. Our music tastes have changed a lot since then, but we attended quite a few concerts during our first few summers together. One of the first gifts Pat gave me was Before These Crowded Streets, and the album with Tim Reynolds will always remind me of the first time I visited him at college. I'll always love those late 90s/early 00s DMB albums for the nostalgia invoked.
- The ticket stub above is from the movies, at a second-run movie theater that no longer exists (Cine 10, anyone?).
Again, fun and informal was the name of the game. A sort of explanation of the high school theme via the prom date thing, another reminder of the date, and our favorite Woody Allen quote. Simple and to the point.There were times when I wished we'd done something more sophisticated or design-y. I saw so many amazing designs out there, in comparison ours was, well, a bit amateur. But very few of our guests read wedding magazines or blogs, and these got rave reviews.
These went out in March. We ordered the 5 1/2" by 8 1/2" postcards from OvernightPrints.com for a very reasonable price. Unfortunately, the lowest quantity we could order was 250, so we have about 150 left over... any ideas about what to do with all those extras?
Lil ole me? Blogged by A Practical Wedding? I'm flattered!
If you're new here, welcome!
Our wedding is in just 23 days (my heart skips a beat every time I say/write that), so things are bound to be nutty around here... I'll keep you updated, while also trying not to bore you with details of RSVP counts and seating charts.
Tomorrow: The Quest for the Marriage License. Stay tuned to find out whether we pass the test and score the license to say 'I do'.
We have received official confirmation: There will be Italian cookies and pastries at our wedding. These aren't just any Italian cookies-- these will be from the best Italian bakery in Schenectady--and if you know Italian bakeries in Schenectady, this means that these cookies are amazingly delicious (hey, they've been given the seal of approval by my Italian family, and that's saying a lot).
The cookies are a (fantastic) wedding gift from my Aunt Elaine.
The outpouring of awesomeness from our family has been overwhelming-- from the cookies to the after party to the honeymoon, the willingness to help out has blown us away.
"In our tradition, celebration of life is more important than mourning over the dead. When a wedding procession encounters a funeral procession in the street, the mourners must halt so as to allow the wedding party to proceed. Surely you know what respect we show our dead, but a wedding, a symbol of life and renewal, a symbol of promise too, takes precedence."
-Elie Wiesel (thanks to Meg for reminding me of this passage.)
As we get closer and closer to our wedding day (23 days, the countdown says), reminders of those we've lost this summer are constant. The task of deleting two names from the guest list. A stamped and addressed but unsent shower thank you note. A call to the florist to change two corsages into a memorial arrangement. The list of family photos to capture. We try not to dwell on these things, but they're there. The above bit from Mr. Wiesel is a good reminder of the focus and purpose behind the wedding celebration-- a celebration of life. Ours lives, the lives of our guests, the lives of those who won't be with us, but who left us with so much. And I promise you, we are all ready for a good celebration.
Oh. my. gosh.
One month.
1.
According to theknot.com we have 83 things left to do, 18 of which are overdue. There's a reason I haven't used The Knot's checklist.
Where can I buy:
-A chalkboard (like, 18" x 24" or something like that)
-A scrapbook with black pages
-Card stock in one color, for not a lot of money. I'm looking for that deep purple/eggplant color
We are at a good point-- the projects we have left feel manageable, as long as we keep ourselves on schedule and enlist a little help. We've ditched any projects that are just going to be too much (we were kicking around some video/slideshow ideas and various complicated favor ideas-- figuring out what's reasonable and what's just not going to happen was a good step).
Wanna help?
Either Labor Day weekend (if people are around) or the weekend after (if no one's around the weekend before) we'll be having a 'wedding project assembly party' for anyone who's interested in lending a hand. A lot of people have offered to help, but geographic logistics and life events have made it hard to take them up on it-- this is your chance to be a part of the magic! We'll provide food and beverage and eternal/undying gratitude.
And, dear sweet wedding guests, please don't forget to pop that RSVP in the mail, aight? Merci!
photo by Patrick
A year ago today, Patrick asked me to marry him and I said yes.
We haven't written much about our engagement story, so I thought I'd write a bit now for my lunchtime blogging break. It's a bit long, but that's not much of a surprise now is it?
We'd decided to go to Albany for the weekend to see our parents for the weekend of August 18. I don't know when Patrick's scheming started-- if it was before or after that decision. He'll have to fill you in on his side. As far as I knew, we'd decided to go home for a run of the mill visit. He suggested that we get our parents together for dinner since we'd only be there for one night. I suggested a barbecue to my parents, they called Pat's mom and dad, and dinner was arranged. I do know that this was all part of Pat's plan.
August 18 was a gorgeous day, and Patrick suggested that rather than our normal running around Albany trying to cram in a bunch of visits and errands, we should enjoy the day in town together. (So full of suggestions, but I just thought it was another one of our adventures). We went to lunch at Justin's (the site of our first date all those years ago), much fancier than our usual Mass Pike road lunches. We sat in the same part of the restaurant we sat in that first day and reminisced a bit-- I confessed how I was so nervous on that first date that I could hardly eat my tomato soup, and then I felt really bad that he was paying for tomato soup that I barely touched. I don't remember, but hopefully I payed for another part of that date. We remembered how it was pouring rain, how even that first day we kept extending the date and putting off the moment we had to part.
After strolling Lark Street we drove up to Thacher Park-- another spot that we frequented in our early days. We'd go up there to sit on the wall by the overlook, hike around, take in the view, and talk. The first ring Patrick gave me was given while we were sitting on that wall in 1998-- shortly after we started dating he went to Washington DC with a music department trip. The time apart was torturous (we were teenagers in love!) and when he came back he gave me a hematite ring he had bought me. I loved that ring (and that he'd given it to me) and I was heartbroken when it shattered one night while I was babysitting. I tried to glue it back together, but it never held very well. I still have the pieces.
Anyway, on that day last year we did a little photo shoot at the overlook, and then drove over to take a walk near one of our favorite spots. Thinking back, he fumbled in the car a bit while I waited to begin our walk-- I figured he was doing something with his camera. We stopped to take in the view near a footbridge over a brook and a small ledge, which we would venture out onto back when we were crazy teenagers.
As we stood there, Patrick started talking about our past-- how far we'd come, how deep our love had grown, how happy we've made each other all these years. And then he says "Now, how about beginning the next chapter of our future-- Nicole, will you marry me?" (or something like that-- maybe he remembers exactly, I was too surprised to remember verbatim) and he's down on one knee with the ring. After a few moments of speechlessness, I told him "of course!" and I can't even describe the feeling as we stood there with the view of the Capital Region sprawling out below us, hugging and kissing and absorbing this moment we've dreamed about. Time stopped.
Of course, we wanted to tell the world -- but we couldn't, not yet. The plan was that we'd tell our parents when they were all together that night at my parents' house. But they had to be the first to know-- no telling anyone else before then. We killed time with a walk along the Indian Ladder trail and photo shoots along the way.
After an hour or so we were getting antsy and anxious and decided to make our way towards dinner. When we arrived in Guilderland it was still too early, so we bought some champagne and then killed more time with coffee at the diner. This is one of my favorite things from that day-- we sat at the counter, giddy with our secret. And then my parents called wondering where the heck we were and my mom thought I'd be there to help her make dinner. Oops... too much time killed.
I was shaking with excitement as we walked back to my parents' patio, where they were all waiting. I carried in a pan of peach cobbler that I'd made, hiding my new bling. As soon as I put it down, we couldn't wait any longer and blurted out the news (the news our parents have been waiting years for)! Of course it was met with joy and kisses and hugs all around. We popped the cork on the champagne and spent the evening toasting.
All of it was exactly right.
Last night, just before the stroke of midnight we moved the last of our things out of our old apartment and turned in the keys. A lot has happened in our two years on Market St, while living under the words 'Always Desirable'. That place is full of good memories, and it was sad to close the door on the empty apartment. Many more good things await us at the new place, I know-- we just have to unpack about 100 boxes first.I feel like we've been neglecting wedding business, but this weekend we've got a lot on tap. Tonight we are headed back to Albany-- I have a dress fitting (does anyone know where I can buy Spanx? Like, tonight or before 10 tomorrow morning?), and a hair trial and I hear that Patrick has his bachelor party. We're also meeting with the cantor who is singing at our ceremony-- she's an old friend of Patrick's and his family, I can't wait to meet her. The first time we called her to ask her to sing for our wedding she did a few numbers over the phone-- love it.
Linky link
The wedding blog I started reading this morning, got sucked into, and thus was a bit late for work because of:
$2,000 Wedding
We could never pull this off (did you catch that bit about how we have nearly 100 people with just aunts/uncles/spouses and first cousins/spouses?), but the story of how they did it is inspiring. Sara and Matt's wedding was extremely personal, and looks like a whole lot of fun.
Of course, we are breaking lots of her rules with our wedding (sit down dinner, DJ, actual wedding dress, no ping pong table), but hey-- as much as we love campfires and boardgames, we also really like to get dressed up and celebrate in a slightly fancy way. As far as I'm concerned, either way is a great way to mark a special event. Whatever works for you.
Despite only getting a few hours of sleep last night, I am feeling good this morning. We saw an amazing show with Julia and Seth last night when Wilco took the stage at Tanglewood-- the good vibes are still reverberating.
There's a good write up of the show, here. This was the fourth time I've seen Wilco live, and every time has been incredible. There was something about the energy and the setting of this show that just blew the rest out of the water. By the end of the show we'd made our way up front and Julia and I (both vertically challenged) climbed up on the equipment boxes to get a better view of Jeff Tweedy's bedazzled blazer. We thought security (i.e. one of the 70 year old men wearing sports coats and wielding flashlights) would have us out of there in no time, but we were golden through both encores. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Pat took a bunch of photos, hopefully he'll share some of those soon. It was so good to have a night off, when we didn't have to think about all the things on our to do list-- all we had to do was enjoy being together and being there.
New blog friend
My friend and my former roommate in Albany has started a wedding-related blog, check it out:
http://andrea-lifeloveeverythingelse.blogspot.com/
I've always appreciated Andrea's practicality and fun approach to life. She and Mike are getting married next year, and she is a great event planner (as you know if you've ever attended one of her Christmas parties!) Andrea's blog promises to be a good read-- maybe she'll share a few photos of Shadow, the dog Andrea adopted when we were living together. Cutest and best dog ever.
Ok, time to dive into work. It's a quiet day around here, so maybe I'll finally get caught up... (ha.)
(photo by patrick)Grace and David's wedding was one of the best I've ever witnessed. It was also one of the most simple. They planned it in six months, had no wedding party (although I did get to be honorary bridesmaid for all the primping and prepping), and there were only 70 people there (mostly Grace's brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews, and Dave's aunts, uncles, and cousins). Grace didn't stress about a thing, everything was kept simple, there was no DJ, her mom did all the centerpieces, it was at her parents' home, and it was just gorgeous.
Most importantly, Grace and Dave were so happy. Their happiness was contagious. Everyone was relaxed and enjoying themselves, and the setting at the lake house was perfect. There was no 'event design', and every event of the weekend was a group effort on behalf of the family, neighbors, and friends. Grace's sisters and nieces provided the ceremony music, her nephews provided the cocktail hour music, and the neighbors brought all the food for the day after brunch. Everything about it was heartfelt and genuine, just like Grace and Dave. Grace is one of my favorite people in the world, and I am so happy that she found such a great person to share her life with. I only wish our lives were playing out in the same state!
A few more photos from 8.11.07:
Grace's nephew Luke took some time during the ceremony to stroll the aisle. (Photo by Patrick)
You can see more of our photos from their lovely day here.
