Naming rights

I am changing my name.

Reactions to this have ranged from surprised to pleased to disapproving. In most cases, it seems that people assumed I wouldn't be changing my name.

Believe me, I gave it a lot of thought. Hyphenating would probably be my top choice, however hyphenating our last names would leave me with a six syllable last name. I spend enough of my time working on pronunciation with people now-- I can only imagine what the hyphenation of two tricky last names would do. And can you imagine just answering the phone at work? "Hello, this is Nicole Longlastname-longlastname." Whew-- it's a double mouthful!

I really like the idea of sharing a last name with Patrick-- like we're a team, operating under the same team name. I like that we'll both share a last name with our children. While I know many small changes are in store, after 10 years I'm not sure marriage will bring about any huge changes. I like the symbolism of this change and starting a new phase of our life together (in one week!) with a shared last name.

I'm not letting go of my last name entirely. I'm going to keep it as a second middle name (oh boy, filling out forms is going to be fun...) and it will remain (along with my new name) on my business cards and work-related materials. It's getting bumped back in line, but it's not disappearing.

I respect every decision about whether to keep one's last name, move it to the middle, hyphenate it, or ditch it altogether. Some of the strongest women I know took their partner's last name. It's a personal decision, and it's about what feels right to you. I don't think it says anything about one's independence as a woman or one's commitment to the marriage. It's a name.

(And really, I'm already known by quite a few names: Nicole, Nikki, Nic, Splash, to name a few. By taking Pat's last name I'm just adding one more to the list!)