August 2008 Archives

The Save the Dates were our first wedding project, and we had a blast designing them together. We decided that since our invitations were going to be on the formal side, we wanted to have fun with the Save the Dates. We came up with the concept together (along with Meg, our friend/Pat's cousin's wife/our invitation designer).

The whole thing is a reference to the beginnings of our relationship in high school, a short 10 years ago, and the things that have happened in that time.

Here's the story behind all those items:

• The pink stub on the left is the parking stub from Thacher Park (where Patrick proposed), for the day we got engaged last summer.
• The ticket along the bottom is from our trip on the Eurostar from London to Paris. We took the trip in November 2001 when Patrick game to visit me during my semester abroad in London. We ate crepes and went to the top of the Eiffel Tour at night.
  
• The "photo booth" photos we took in our living room in March-- a  black backdrop (fabric found at a thrift store) hung in a doorway, the camera on a tripod, Calvin staring at us like we'd lost our minds.
• The ticket stub on the bottom right is from a Dave Matthews concert at SPAC. Our music tastes have changed a lot since then, but we attended quite a few concerts during our first few summers together. One of the first gifts Pat gave me was Before These Crowded Streets, and the album with Tim Reynolds will always remind me of the first time I visited him at college. I'll always love those late 90s/early 00s DMB albums for the nostalgia invoked.
• The ticket stub above is from the movies, at a second-run movie theater that no longer exists (Cine 10, anyone?).

Lil ole me? Blogged by A Practical Wedding? I'm flattered!

If you're new here, welcome!

Our wedding is in just 23 days (my heart skips a beat every time I say/write that), so things are bound to be nutty around here... I'll keep you updated, while also trying not to bore you with details of RSVP counts and seating charts.

Tomorrow: The Quest for the Marriage License. Stay tuned to find out whether we pass the test and score the license to say 'I do'.

We have received official confirmation: There will be Italian cookies and pastries at our wedding. These aren't just any Italian cookies-- these will be from the best Italian bakery in Schenectady--and if you know Italian bakeries in Schenectady, this means that these cookies are amazingly delicious (hey, they've been given the seal of approval by my Italian family, and that's saying a lot).

The cookies are a (fantastic) wedding gift from my Aunt Elaine.

The outpouring of awesomeness from our family has been overwhelming-- from the cookies to the after party to the honeymoon, the willingness to help out has blown us away.

"In our tradition, celebration of life is more important than mourning over the dead. When a wedding procession encounters a funeral procession in the street, the mourners must halt so as to allow the wedding party to proceed. Surely you know what respect we show our dead, but a wedding, a symbol of life and renewal, a symbol of promise too, takes precedence."
-Elie Wiesel (thanks to Meg for reminding me of this passage.)

As we get closer and closer to our wedding day (23 days, the countdown says), reminders of those we've lost this summer are constant. The task of deleting two names from the guest list. A stamped and addressed but unsent shower thank you note. A call to the florist to change two corsages into a memorial arrangement. The list of family photos to capture. We try not to dwell on these things, but they're there. The above bit from Mr. Wiesel is a good reminder of the focus and purpose behind the wedding celebration-- a celebration of life. Ours lives, the lives of our guests, the lives of those who won't be with us, but who left us with so much. And I promise you, we are all ready for a good celebration.

Oh. my. gosh.

One month.

1.

According to theknot.com we have 83 things left to do, 18 of which are overdue. There's a reason I haven't used The Knot's checklist.

Questions for you knowledgeable folks--
Where can I buy:

-A chalkboard (like, 18" x 24" or something like that)
-A scrapbook with black pages
-Card stock in one color, for not a lot of money. I'm looking for that deep purple/eggplant color

We are at a good point-- the projects we have left feel manageable, as long as we keep ourselves on schedule and enlist a little help. We've ditched any projects that are just going to be too much (we were kicking around some video/slideshow ideas and various complicated favor ideas-- figuring out what's reasonable and what's just not going to happen was a good step).

Wanna help?
Either Labor Day weekend (if people are around) or the weekend after (if no one's around the weekend before) we'll be having a 'wedding project assembly party' for anyone who's interested in lending a hand. A lot of people have offered to help, but geographic logistics and life events have made it hard to take them up on it-- this is your chance to be a part of the magic! We'll provide food and beverage and eternal/undying gratitude.

And, dear sweet wedding guests, please don't forget to pop that RSVP in the mail, aight? Merci!

photo by Patrick

A year ago today, Patrick asked me to marry him and I said yes. We haven't written much about our engagement story, so I thought I'd write a bit now for my lunchtime blogging break. It's a bit long, but that's not much of a surprise now is it?

We'd decided to go to Albany for the weekend to see our parents for the weekend of August 18. I don't know when Patrick's scheming started-- if it was before or after that decision. He'll have to fill you in on his side. As far as I knew, we'd decided to go home for a run of the mill visit. He suggested that we get our parents together for dinner since we'd only be there for one night. I suggested a barbecue to my parents, they called Pat's mom and dad, and dinner was arranged. I do know that this was all part of Pat's plan.

August 18 was a gorgeous day, and Patrick suggested that rather than our normal running around Albany trying to cram in a bunch of visits and errands, we should enjoy the day in town together. (So full of suggestions, but I just thought it was another one of our adventures). We went to lunch at Justin's (the site of our first date all those years ago), much fancier than our usual Mass Pike road lunches. We sat in the same part of the restaurant we sat in that first day and reminisced a bit-- I confessed how I was so nervous on that first date that I could hardly eat my tomato soup, and then I felt really bad that he was paying for tomato soup that I barely touched. I don't remember, but hopefully I payed for another part of that date. We remembered how it was pouring rain, how even that first day we kept extending the date and putting off the moment we had to part.

After strolling Lark Street we drove up to Thacher Park-- another spot that we frequented in our early days. We'd go up there to sit on the wall by the overlook, hike around, take in the view, and talk. The first ring Patrick gave me was given while we were sitting on that wall in 1998-- shortly after we started dating he went to Washington DC with a music department trip. The time apart was torturous (we were teenagers in love!) and when he came back he gave me a hematite ring he had bought me. I loved that ring (and that he'd given it to me) and I was heartbroken when it shattered one night while I was babysitting. I tried to glue it back together, but it never held very well. I still have the pieces.

Anyway, on that day last year we did a little photo shoot at the overlook, and then drove over to take a walk near one of our favorite spots. Thinking back, he fumbled in the car a bit while I waited to begin our walk-- I figured he was doing something with his camera. We stopped to take in the view near a footbridge over a brook and a small ledge, which we would venture out onto back when we were crazy teenagers.

As we stood there, Patrick started talking about our past-- how far we'd come, how deep our love had grown, how happy we've made each other all these years. And then he says "Now, how about beginning the next chapter of our future-- Nicole, will you marry me?" (or something like that-- maybe he remembers exactly, I was too surprised to remember verbatim) and he's down on one knee with the ring. After a few moments of speechlessness, I told him "of course!" and I can't even describe the feeling as we stood there with the view of the Capital Region sprawling out below us, hugging and kissing and absorbing this moment we've dreamed about. Time stopped.

Of course, we wanted to tell the world -- but we couldn't, not yet. The plan was that we'd tell our parents when they were all together that night at my parents' house. But they had to be the first to know-- no telling anyone else before then. We killed time with a walk along the Indian Ladder trail and photo shoots along the way.

After an hour or so we were getting antsy and anxious and decided to make our way towards dinner. When we arrived in Guilderland it was still too early, so we bought some champagne and then killed more time with coffee at the diner. This is one of my favorite things from that day-- we sat at the counter, giddy with our secret. And then my parents called wondering where the heck we were and my mom thought I'd be there to help her make dinner. Oops... too much time killed.

I was shaking with excitement as we walked back to my parents' patio, where they were all waiting. I carried in a pan of peach cobbler that I'd made, hiding my new bling. As soon as I put it down, we couldn't wait any longer and blurted out the news (the news our parents have been waiting years for)! Of course it was met with joy and kisses and hugs all around. We popped the cork on the champagne and spent the evening toasting.

The next day, we made the rounds to give the news in person to our grandmothers (as we said goodbye to two of them this summer I was so thankful that we did this last summer, and that we had that moment with each of them) and spent the evening calling the rest of our families and friends.

All of it was exactly right.

Last night, just before the stroke of midnight we moved the last of our things out of our old apartment and turned in the keys. A lot has happened in our two years on Market St, while living under the words 'Always Desirable'. That place is full of good memories, and it was sad to close the door on the empty apartment. Many more good things await us at the new place, I know-- we just have to unpack about 100 boxes first.

I feel like we've been neglecting wedding business, but this weekend we've got a lot on tap. Tonight we are headed back to Albany-- I have a dress fitting (does anyone know where I can buy Spanx? Like, tonight or before 10 tomorrow morning?), and a hair trial and I hear that Patrick has his bachelor party. We're also meeting with the cantor who is singing at our ceremony-- she's an old friend of Patrick's and his family, I can't wait to meet her. The first time we called her to ask her to sing for our wedding she did a few numbers over the phone-- love it.

Linky link
The wedding blog I started reading this morning, got sucked into, and thus was a bit late for work because of:
$2,000 Wedding

We could never pull this off (did you catch that bit about how we have nearly 100 people with just aunts/uncles/spouses and first cousins/spouses?), but the story of how they did it is inspiring. Sara and Matt's wedding was extremely personal, and looks like a whole lot of fun.

Of course, we are breaking lots of her rules with our wedding (sit down dinner, DJ, actual wedding dress, no ping pong table), but hey-- as much as we love campfires and boardgames, we also really like to get dressed up and celebrate in a slightly fancy way. As far as I'm concerned, either way is a great way to mark a special event. Whatever works for you.

Despite only getting a few hours of sleep last night, I am feeling good this morning. We saw an amazing show with Julia and Seth last night when Wilco took the stage at Tanglewood-- the good vibes are still reverberating.

There's a good write up of the show, here. This was the fourth time I've seen Wilco live, and every time has been incredible. There was something about the energy and the setting of this show that just blew the rest out of the water. By the end of the show we'd made our way up front and Julia and I (both vertically challenged) climbed up on the equipment boxes to get a better view of Jeff Tweedy's bedazzled blazer. We thought security (i.e. one of the 70 year old men wearing sports coats and wielding flashlights) would have us out of there in no time, but we were golden through both encores. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Pat took a bunch of photos, hopefully he'll share some of those soon. It was so good to have a night off, when we didn't have to think about all the things on our to do list-- all we had to do was enjoy being together and being there.

New blog friend

My friend and my former roommate in Albany has started a wedding-related blog, check it out:

http://andrea-lifeloveeverythingelse.blogspot.com/

I've always appreciated Andrea's practicality and fun approach to life. She and Mike are getting married next year, and she is a great event planner (as you know if you've ever attended one of her Christmas parties!) Andrea's blog promises to be a good read-- maybe she'll share a few photos of Shadow, the dog Andrea adopted when we were living together. Cutest and best dog ever.

Ok, time to dive into work. It's a quiet day around here, so maybe I'll finally get caught up... (ha.)

I got to work today and realized that yesterday was Grace and Dave's one year anniversary! Happy Anniversary (a little late), you two crazy kids!

Grace and David's wedding was one of the best I've ever witnessed. It was also one of the most simple. They planned it in six months, had no wedding party (although I did get to be honorary bridesmaid for all the primping and prepping), and there were only 70 people there (mostly Grace's brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews, and Dave's aunts, uncles, and cousins). Grace didn't stress about a thing, everything was kept simple, there was no DJ, her mom did all the centerpieces, it was at her parents' home, and it was just gorgeous.

Most importantly, Grace and Dave were so happy.  Their happiness was contagious. Everyone was relaxed and enjoying themselves, and the setting at the lake house was perfect. There was no 'event design', and every event of the weekend was a group effort on behalf of the family, neighbors, and friends. Grace's sisters and nieces provided the ceremony music, her nephews provided the cocktail hour music, and the neighbors brought all the food for the day after brunch. Everything about it was heartfelt and genuine, just like Grace and Dave. Grace is one of my favorite people in the world, and I am so happy that she found such a great person to share her life with. I only wish our lives were playing out in the same state!

A few more photos from 8.11.07:

 
 
You can see more of our photos from their lovely day here.

Dear TheKnot.com,

When I received your email featuring "4 Hot New Color Combos We Love", I was intrigued enough to open it. Not that I'm looking for any hot new color combos-- it's just that the wedding industry is always coming up with these new color schemes, and it's fascinating to see what the trendy new combination is-- many are hideous, some are nice, most just use new names for standard colors.

Now, here's my gripe: "cherry and lime" is not a "hot new color combo" (but it is a delicious flavor sensation). Maybe you love it, but here's the thing... cherry and lime is actually red and green, a color combo owned by Christmas for hundreds of years.

I'm just saying, let's be honest when we use the terms 'hot' and 'new', ok?

All the best,

Nicole

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... Image via theknot.com.

Today is my parents' 30th wedding anniversary.

In addition to being great parents, they are a great couple. My dad can still make my mom laugh, even when she's mad. He still grabs her and dances with her in the kitchen, and if you watch them for just a few minutes you'll see how smitten they are with each other. They aren't perfect-- what couple is?-- but the way their love remains steadfast and fun is inspiring.

Patrick took this photo of them dancing at my cousin's wedding in October-- once our scanner is set up at the new place I'll treat you all to one of the photos from their early days. It's equally adorable.

In the guest book at my wedding shower a couple weeks ago, the hostesses requested that each guest write their advice or wishes for our marriage. My grandmother wrote four little words: Much love and happiness.

How will we remember this summer when we look back on it? Tremendously sad. Tremendously exciting. Full of possibility. Full of loss.

Full of life and its ups and downs.

The loss of my grandmother has hit me hard. Unexpected, unprepared, all too fast. Grief compounded by the loss of Patrick's grandmother just a month before.

I have found comfort in these things:

-That Patrick got to know my grandmother, and oh how she loved him. When she was around him she was a charming flirt-- giving him a hard time, laughing, teasing. She knew we would be married and happy, she gave us her blessing, and we were able to share the wedding planning with her. I will never forget the day we went to her house to share the news of our engagement-- she was thrilled.

-In the support of our family and friends. I have felt closer this week to my uncles, aunts, and cousins, than I have in years. The loss hit everyone hard, and all we could do was try to hold one another up.

-In the fact that while Patrick and I imagine this wedding to be the coming together of our families, our families have already come together. In addition to Pat's parents and brother, his grandmother, aunts, uncles, and cousins were there to comfort and support us last week. It's hard to express how much that meant-- how much they all mean to me.

-That her life was long and full of love, and that when she died she was surrounded by her children, and not in any pain. It's the kind of death we all hope for.

-In the fact that for the past 9 years (since I went away to college up through just a few weeks ago), Grandma wrote to me nearly every week. It's too painful right now, but I know that down the road, when I miss her, I can go to the box where I've kept her letters and read a few -- her sweetness, her sense of humor, and her love are all right there. I am so grateful that she wrote those letters. It's the best argument there is for the old fashioned pen to paper letter.

So now we do the best we can to move forward. And moving is what we're doing-- quite literally. We drove back to Northampton a few hours after the funeral on Friday, and have spent the rest of the weekend packing up and making trips to the new apartment.

Invitations went out last week-- in between all the rest we're doing our best to stay on top of wedding plans.

I can't wait for our honeymoon...