Let the groom dress himself!

Truth: I don't dress Patrick. Sometimes we shop for clothes together, he asks my opinion and I ask his, but I don't dress him up like a Ken doll. I don't pick out his clothes or coordinate his outfits. He's a grown man, he has good taste, and he does just fine dressing himself.

I will not be dressing him on our wedding day, either. It makes me gag every time I see a wedding blog post or a wedding magazine article about "Dressing Your Groom". Seriously? Your groom is not an accessory, not another "detail" of the day to coordinate. It is his day, too, and he deserves the respect of picking out his own outfit!

Patrick did a lot of research into proper men's formalwear for our mid-afternoon semi-formal wedding. I was clueless about types of tuxedos, suits, ties, and jackets. Anyone who knows Patrick knows that he likes to do things right, he respects tradition, and when he researches something he leaves no stone unturned.

The style of dress he chose for himself and his groomsmen is classy, classic, and handsome. I didn't go with him and his brother when they went to the menswear store to try things on--I trusted that they could handle it. We both agreed that there would be no hot pink vests or cummerbunds, but beyond that he figured it out.

We both like to get dressed up, and we're both excited about getting more dressed up than we've ever been on the day we make a very important commitment to each other.

It's trendy right now for grooms to wear sneakers, or untucked shirts without ties, or a shirt and tie but no jacket. These looks are fine and work for certain types of weddings, but I think the groom deserves to dress up to mark the occasion. To me, it's a sign of respect for the day, his wife-to-be, and the guests.

Mostly though, I disagree with making the groom just another accessory. Pat's not just an accessory to my life; he's the most important thing in it. And he's not just an add-on to the wedding day like the cake or the flowers; he's the center of it (or one half of the center of it!). At the very least, I can respect his ability to pick out clothes, and his right to join me in getting all dressed up in our wedding day finery.

Of course, if it was up to me, I'd choose something like this for Patrick:

Duane "Dog" Chapman, aka "Dog the Bounty Hunter" on his wedding day. Yes, those are white jeans.
Image: Associated Press